Good Day for Writing

writing dreams

I ran out of excuses this morning. Sun was up early and it looked like a good day for writing. Or it was what I told myself. writing dreams

Then I washed all the clean sheets and polished ornaments. They catch the sun rays on their shiny surfaces. Adjusting them just a little, this way and that. Takes a few minutes. Out of a day. While sky is relentlessly blue.

Some feeble weeds caught my eye while hanging out the unnecessary washing. Perhaps I should really attend to the garden while is still sunny, plant some more geraniums … or any other number of things.

Such as clean non-existent dust, prepare meals nobody will eat, watch mind-numbing television programs, manicure my nails for outings I will not be invited to, read serious literature so to learn how it is done … or any other number of things.

And all to escape the blank page, to avoid staring at it for hours on end like a prisoner into the bars on his cell’s windows.  No way out and no way in.

Oh to think that I am playing at being a writer! And in English at that! Oh the cheek!

And what with? Handful of words gathered here and there, and no sounds. No sounds to speak of! Because you see, it is the sound that does it.

The writer is like a violinist, like a musician who hears the sound and then writes it down in those mysteriously elegant looking symbols. Inside them; sounds are captured, anchored on pages. For anyone to see, to hear, to play.

The writer sees the landscapes of his stories; the music played in secluded cafés, the lovers’ whispers, sound of rain at the day break, the scent of man’s skin in love-making … it is like looking through the finest lace, only just glimpsing the images … seeing only faint shapes and pale colours. Feeble smells and muffled sounds.

Oh to make them alive!

But to make them alive, writer needs not only words, but sounds of words. Sounds that make the story dance with joy, moan with pleasure, wail in pain … the reader needs not only hear it, but to feel it. Be mesmerized by it.

But how?

When this ‘writer’ (or what is left of one) senses ripples of groans escaping lovers embrace, like the rich, liquid honey, shimmering with golden desire, or smells the primal pungency of moist earth after the first plough cut it open in autumn … she fails to capture sounds needed to breathe life into them.

The sensations are all there; under her skin, in her vision, seemingly within her reach; mocking and torturing her daily … but words, oh the words are never quite the right ones … the necessary ones, the required ones; the only ones that can make every pain, and every joy, and every image alive on the page.

And it is all because of sounds!

Writing about droplets of rain that danced on the rooftop while he stroked her hair, does not evoke that radiating, loaded connotation, that haze of desire … because word ‘rain’ does not evoke the same sound as the word ‘kisa’. There is the lack of that essential primordial familiarity born out of the sound the first speaker in one’s life made when mouthing the word … the sound one’s first associated with the water failing on the surfaces. It is the secret code of every language.

And when this code is lost or broken; the older one is – the harder is to find it, or to mended it. The original one becomes more and more ill-fitting, while the new ones remains inadequate … while unspoken sounds extinguish a piece of one’s soul daily.

To write is to live in agony … not to write is not to live at all.

Author: Daniela

Reader, Writer, Mother, Freethinker, Habitual Day Dreamer, Blogger - Sharing Ideas, Poetry, Prose, and Conversations on the Lantern Post!

57 thoughts on “Good Day for Writing”

  1. It must be a struggle writing in an ‘other’ language from the one to which you were born. I remember my grandfather, after living in the US for more than 30 years, struggle with words occasionally in BOTH languages. Sometimes he just couldn’t ‘grab’ it, and would substitute the word from which ever language he wasn’t using at the moment. And of course, some words simply don’t translate. Don’t eskimos have a dozen words for snow? Great post, Daniela. I feel your anguish.

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    1. My dear …

      Thank you so much … I am very grateful you shared your own experience! Yes, I can understand only too well how your grandfather struggled with words occasionally in both languages … when (and that is not often at all) I speak with people from my first country in our language, I struggle for words already. Not only that … my use of words is becoming obsolete and out of date … and all that after some 18 years ONLY, which is most likely because I do not have anyone to communicate in my first language here. It is not for the loss of one language as it is for not acquiring the other one at the level I need to write the way I want it! Remember when I was accepted to Iowa writing workshop not so long ago … guess what; work commitments and my own lack of confidence in my writing abilities made me post pone it … that tells it all!

      Thank you,
      All the Best,
      Daniela

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    1. I wish I can write something more meaningful, something more potent, more powerful than just BIG, HUGE THANK YOU -:)!

      You know there are such times when your words bring almost tears to my eyes …

      Many, many thanks,
      Daniela

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  2. Brilliant as always! Loved the last line and may have to borrow it? 🙂 I should like to take it out for a walk and see where it leads.
    As for the procrastination, I thought I had the exclusive corner on that…

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    1. Thank you very, very much for the visit to the Lantern and for your kind words! I love the idea of taking ‘it’ for a walk and see where it leads! I love it – so yes, please go for it as they say!

      As for the procrastination … there are few contenders on that particular exclusive corner … as for me – I do not procrastinate as much as agonize over looking for just the right word …

      Many thanks,
      Daniela

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  3. Once again Daniela, you have taken us on a trip through your brilliant mind. My only fear is that someone is going to discover you and you will no longer have time to write these beautiful posts for us to read.But that would be a good thing – – – knowing that we were able to read your words before others. I am sorry that committments did not allow you to attend Iowa. Maybe next session.

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    1. Dear Waldo,

      This morning I read one of your posts to which I will return soon as I found it moving and wish to say so. And then I found your comment here on the Lantern … as usual your words are warm, caring and full of encouragement … and for that I thank you with all my heart! It means a lot to me -:)!

      I am also sorry about Iowa … it was a combination of work commitments and (to be brutally honest) my own lack of confidence … the closer it get to the start, more self-conscious I become of the fact that all other attendees are native English speakers/writers and already accomplished writers … you see there is no fear of me ‘being discovered’ as you put it. I have to work on plucking some courage for the next intake … they said I can still come.

      Many thanks for everything,
      Daniela

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      1. Daniela,
        Just to let you know that I think your words, in English, can hold up to any other writer I know of. Your choice of just the correct word or phrase is what makes me look forward to each and every one of your posts.
        On top of that, you have a sense about humanity that many others lack. That always shines through your writing. Even the title of your blog, just those two words, tell us what your blog is about; shining a light on humanity.
        But the rent must be paid and food must be placed on the table so work commitments are understood.
        I wish you the best of luck with everything.
        Wally

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      2. Dear Waldo,

        I can only say/write thank you … as no other words are at my disposal to express how much I appreciate what you said and the depth of understanding you show me.

        Sending you the best wishes all the way from my little corner in South Pacific!

        Take Care,
        Daniela

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  4. I will never write like you. And that is OK. I always hope I will write one or two little things that catch a reader’s attention.
    And as I read what others write, there is always something that catches my attention.

    What I am trying to say and not very good about saying it….is we must write for ourselves first. What I write is about me and for me. And that is not a selfish thing. I think it is a very giving thing. We give of ourselves…expose ourselves. And sometimes we hurt ourselves by doing so. Not everyone is going to like or be a fan of what we offer. 😦

    What you do is make people think, respond and write. I think I write longer comments here than anyplace else….good or bad.

    And what little thing caught my attention in your Good Day for Writing piece? What did I read that I will remember from my visit here?
    What will I be thinking about from your blog as I continue on with my day?

    Clean non-existent dust…… 🙂 I want some of this.

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    1. My dear …

      I must say first that your comment truly made me sit a bit straighter-:)! What you said resonates strongly with me especially about writing for one self first and foremost. That indeed is critical. I say critical, because writing for one self means accepting one self as one is … and that is the most difficult task of all, especially if one is accustomed to self-flagellation of life-long standing.

      So you see … you made me think … really think, and that is the most valuable gift of blogging; to ‘awaken’ each other.

      As for the ‘cleaning non-existent dust’ … it is another of life-long habits developed as a form of escape or disguise … my place is always spotless as a result!

      Many, many thanks for everything -:)!

      Daniela

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  5. Poetic and wonderful. Oh, I organize and reorganize files, sharpen pencils…arrange the desktop…make some tea or coffee…I think it is some escape, but I also think it is part of the writing process.

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    1. Many, many thanks Alice -:)! It wold be so nice to be a little bit (quite a bit actually -:)) closer so we can share those coffees, teas and joys of ‘escapes’ … and I also think you are right – it is a part of the writing process!

      Many thanks,
      Daniela

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  6. Hi Daniela. It is about time that I came over my dear friend and commented. I really hate to do this to you …… not !! I am but a simple, yes simple Englishman, but I can’t quite get my head around your New Zealand Croatian Hobbit traditions of cleaning sheets that are already cleaned when you said, ” Then I washed all the clean sheets and polished ornaments.” Beyond me !! Big hug my friend. Ralph xox

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    1. Hi there my dear Ralph -:)!

      So nice to ‘find’ you here again … welcome back -:)! I wish you make those visits more often as there is nobody who makes me laugh with quite as much pleasure as you do! Thank you so much!

      As for the clean sheets … you know the answer as well as I do!

      Take Care,
      Daniela

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  7. I am sorry to hear you say to write is agony because to me it is the inner peace that I have been waiting for all my life. When I write, I am happy, smiling, elated, content and feeling well.

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    1. I am glad you said so … indeed writing can bring us elated happiness as much as agonizing search for just the right words, just the right lines -:)!

      Thank you very much for reading and commenting,

      Kind Regards,
      Daniela

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  8. Dragi Daniela kao što razumijem, imam poštovanje za vas i vašu suštinu, ja sam švedski
    ali izgleda kao jugge često Hervatski ljubav balkan bio tamo kad je bio rat, pa čak i kada je bio Obično ne zauzeti stav o idiotizam dogodilo da se zaglavi tamo kad u tri mjeseca, kada je bio u svom najgorem, pišem Takva bi značilo toliko ako imate vremena da pogledate priči možda knjiga Julia i stari, kritike od vas će biti čast bez obzira što mislite. Za razvoj vam govori. Ako se uzme svoje vrijeme i ja ću plesati s vama :-))

    Spaziba
    Raoul

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    1. Hi Raoul,

      Thank you … even though I am not quite sure to understand it all. It seems you might be using an on-line type of translator into Croatian, which, just like all such applications makes rather strange sentences -:)! But all that does not matter – thank you for visit anyway!

      Take Care,
      Daniela

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  9. Hi Daniela, beautiful journey through a day.I liked …Writers like Musicians they hear the tone and write the musical notes.Thank you for liking my post ( Women / Atrocious Tragedies. ) l appreciate your time to read my post.Warm regards.jalal

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  10. Thank you Daniela for liking my recent post ( the Armenian Genocide.) warm regards.Jalal

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